February 02, 2011

when my mouth doesn't get along with my heart

have you guys ever experienced this kind of situation before?
i bet, everyone have gone through this
even once

there are times, when i can't control myself
at times like this
my mouth refuse to say what my heart tells

i tend to say things which are totally not my intention
when i like someone but afraid my feelings to be revealed
i get mad at them, saying inappropriate things
doing things as if the person are my worst enemy

there are also times
when my heart was burning in anger
and i hate one particular person so much
but i can't even say one bad thing
even a curse

when my mouth, heart as well as my brain doesn't get along like this
i really hate it, it make me angry
because, when this happen i won't get to tell my real feelings
it's not like i wanna be a total jerk every time i meet someone i don't like

but i wish it won't happen too often
when my mouth refused to say what my heart feels
i lose the opportunity to say something that i should

now, i have missed that kind of opportunity
i am left with nothing but regret

i keep asking myself

what if i didn't yell at the person?
maybe we will keep in touch till now?
what if i don't get mad everytime?
maybe we will at least be friend till now?
what if my mouth doesn't say things that my heart doesn't intend to?
maybe i could have a clear ending?
maybe i won't keep thinking at every possibilities like right now?
maybe my life would be a little different?

i know that i shouldn't act like this. i should forget the past and march into the future.
i know i should keep going and keep all the memories as a mere memories
i know i shouldn't drag things like this

but still i keep asking myself
what if?

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