March 01, 2011

i'm stressed, sad and depressed. the sign

     As usual, there are a few times in a year where i am being the-not-usual-me-but-still-myself. At times like this (just like today) i will talk less, write a lot (this explains why i post too much entries these days), and keep myself away from people from a moment. At times like this, i tend to cry, i can't sleep, i start to act weird and bad (like being too lazy to go to class and being too lazy to do my assignments).


  
    When you see me tweeting to much nonsense, curse a little, and some sad-melancholy talk, please just bear with it. That is just me having some emotional war with myself. Trying to gather up new courage to continue my life. You can say it a 'hibernation' moment for me. To let out everything. To forget. To start anew. Just like a reset button, or refreshing mode.



    Because I am the kind of person who always keeps everything to myself. The kind of person who is always scared to get hurt by the people she cared the most. So, she keeps everything to herself and those things keeps getting piled up until one moment, when she couldn't bear it anymore. She'll explode. But, again she never pass her anger to others. The only way to let everything out is like this.Write. Keep writing. Babbling. Keep babbling. Until she feels better.

    But what can I say about this version of myself is she will try her hardest not to make others feel bad about it. Nobody will realize that she is actually having a bad day. She'll keep smiling. A fake smile.

     But actually, all she need is a hug. A warm smile. And a hug.

2 comments: