Thinker Belle

As thoughts grow in time

Sucummbing to Pressure

cr: depressionessoverload

I've always been a prefectionist, and sometimes this trait in me makes my life so much harder. 
And because of that too, I've always feel pressured to deliver the best every time I'm doing something. Lately, the pressure is too big, sometimes I wish to just ignore it or run away.

But well, my rationality (thankfully) helped me to stop myself.

I've always been bad in handling pressure.
And when it is too much, I'll usually succumb to it.
I'll get sick, nauseous, and in worst case my asthma will come attacking.

You see, it's easy for people to say "take it easy".
But for me it's not easy to take it easy.
Every bits of mistakes, imperfections usually haunts me even in my sleep.
My subconsciousness makes me even dream about them.

The only way to at least relieve them is either for me to cry (which is not my favorite option), or to just pray and write it out just like this.

If this is a MMORPG game, my MP and HP level is probably already down to red area.
The temptation to flip out or just shut down is so high. *bangs head on the wall*

Maybe I need my coffee now.

Or maybe not ?
 Cause I think I read somewhere saying caffeine sometimes can cause depression and that's not what I need. Being in this state is enough burden, I don't need to feel like anymore restless.

Gosh, wish me luck guys. 
I need to calm my nerve. 
Cause, you see; I need to work this weekend and feeling like this won't get the job done.

P/s: I secretly wish I have some secret fund stashed somewhere for me so I can get away for awhile.

Till next post, toodles~! ♥ミ


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